In the heat of a parenting conflict, it’s easy to forget that we’re not just managing a child’s behavior—we’re navigating the emotional safety of our entire family. When your partner and child are locked in a power struggle, the urge to step in, fix, or take sides can be strong. But there’s a third option: becoming a secure bridge. Someone who holds space for both, without judging either. It starts with grace, a clear sense of the goal, and the courage to show up with empathy—even when things are messy.

Sometimes I sit across from a couple and I feel it before a word is spoken—something heavy in the room. Not anger. Not conflict. Just a quiet, aching stillness. Two people who used to reach for each other now sit like strangers, dulled by years of disconnection. It’s not that they don’t care. It’s that they’ve learned to protect their hearts—because caring has come to feel too painful.

This isn’t failure. It’s survival.

But emotional deadness doesn’t have to be the end of the story.
With time, care, and small vulnerable steps, protection can give way to connection again.

This is how healing begins.

Struggling with sibling fights at home after a peaceful school day? Discover how creating simple separating zones can help reduce conflict, support emotional regulation, and bring more peace to your household. Learn practical strategies to give your kids the space they need to reset and reconnect.

As a couples therapist, I often meet partners who love deeply but feel chronically out of sync. A common—and emotionally charged—dynamic I see is the tension between one partner’s need for independence and the other’s longing for closeness. This push-pull isn’t about personality flaws but how different nervous systems seek safety.

One partner may need solitude and quiet to regulate; the other craves reassurance and emotional presence to feel secure. When one withdraws, the other pursues, creating a cycle of misunderstanding.

In therapy, I help couples reframe this pattern: both are wired for connection, just in different ways. Small gestures like saying, “I’m stepping away to recharge, but I’m not stepping away from us,” can build the emotional safety needed to break the cycle.

Ultimately, relationships thrive not by choosing autonomy or closeness—but by learning to hold both with curiosity, empathy, and presence.

"I just don't know how to talk to them in a way that they understand me."
As a couples therapist, I hear this all the time—and I get it. Few things feel more frustrating than speaking from the heart, only to be met with distance or defensiveness. But here's what I want you to know: this isn't a sign that your relationship is broken. More often, it's a sign that you’re both trying to protect the relationship—just in different ways.
In this post, I’ll walk you through why communication breaks down, the hidden needs behind each partner’s behavior, and a simple but powerful shift that can help you reconnect—without losing yourself in the process.

When a child demands something right now or speaks disrespectfully, it’s often a sign they’re struggling with control, frustration, or connection. How we respond in that moment — whether we escalate or hold calm boundaries while validating their feelings — can change the entire trajectory of the conversation. Parenting isn’t about demanding respect in the heat of the moment; it’s about modeling it through patience, understanding, and clear limits.

No single conversation can carry the weight of something so emotionally layered.
But when we turn a Big Talk into a series of smaller conversations, we create space—for reflection, for safety, for connection. And that space is where real understanding begins.

If your partner is hesitant about couples therapy, you're not alone. Many couples struggle to communicate or break out of repeating conflicts. Therapy is not about blaming—it’s about building. How you talk to your partner about going to therapy matters.

Many couples struggle with recurring arguments that never seem to get resolved. As a couples therapist, I often see that the issue isn't just the topic—it's the negative communication cycle fueled by a lack of emotional safety. Without vulnerability and accountability, partners stay stuck in conflict patterns that damage connection. Whether you're arguing about parenting styles, communication, or emotional needs, breaking this cycle is key to lasting relationship healing. Couples therapy can help you build emotional safety, speak from vulnerability, and take accountability—so your arguments don’t keep repeating.

Feeling entitled to your partner’s time—or like they feel entitled to yours—is often a sign of deeper relationship issues. As a couples therapist, I see this dynamic linked to imbalance, resentment, and unmet needs. Here’s what it really means and how to work through it together.

It’s something I call performative calm—on the outside we look composed, but underneath, there’s tightness, frustration, or even resentment. It’s not sustainable, and our kids can feel the disconnect, even if they can’t name it.

Transform Reactivity into Intention: Strengthen Your Relationships with Intentional Parenting and Partner Communication

Learn how to move from reactive behaviors to intentional actions in your relationships. Discover the 6 stages of shifting from reactivity to intention, inspired by therapist Terry Real’s framework, and apply them to both intimate relationships and parenting. Explore practical steps such as becoming aware of your triggers, taking a pause, making intentional choices, and practicing daily habits to foster deeper connections. Strengthen your relationship with your partner and kids by shifting from automatic reactions to thoughtful responses that promote mutual understanding and respect.

The term "help" implies that one person is doing something for the other. It’s transactional. One person asks for help, and the other responds. But what’s missing in this scenario is a sense of shared ownership.

Many people fear divorce because of the potential impact it may have on their children. However, maintaining a strong co-parenting relationship can significantly reduce this negative impact, helping to create a stable and supportive environment for your kids.

The goal is not to force one person to become like the other but to create a balanced space where both emotional needs are acknowledged and respected.

The holiday season can feel like a whirlwind of shopping, cooking, decorating, and managing family dynamics—especially when one partner ends up shouldering the bulk of the work. If you’re looking for a way to level the playing field and share the load this year, the Fair Play system, created by Eve Rodsky, offers a simple yet powerful tool.

Co-regulation is the process of supporting each other’s emotional states, particularly during moments of distress or heightened emotion. Instead of withdrawing, blaming, or becoming defensive, co-regulating couples actively tune into each other, providing calm, reassurance, and understanding.

Let's figure out together how to get on the same page or more importantly how to co-author your family’s book.

Reparenting is the process of providing yourself with the love, support, and guidance that you may not have received during childhood. It acknowledges that many of our emotional challenges and behavioral patterns stem from our early experiences.

While I may not be able to give you all the time you’d like, here are some strategies to delay the argument, with the added benefit that the delay is actually good for them.